I know...I know..I left ya'll out in the cold yesterday, but this post is gonna make up for it.Howard Stern is infamous for his raunchy interviews, controversial use of scatological, sexual, and racial humour. The self proclaimed "King Of All Media" recently had a chit chat with the self proclaimed "King Of The South". And believe me, it was by far the most interesting T.I. interview I've heard. T
Tonight i wanted to share something pretty funny. Looks like an Age of Conan fanboy named Mysana is being really frustrated about the bad waters in which his favourite game is barely floating, and has elected this blog as AoC’s personal number one enemy. This resulted in about 20 messages a day ranging from [...]
Tonight i wanted to share something pretty funny. Looks like an Age of Conan fanboy named Mysana is being really frustrated about the bad waters in which his favourite game is barely floating, and has elected this blog as AoC's personal number one enemy. This resulted in about 20 messages a day ranging from the "you're a gay a**hole and you should be gassed", passing by "go fu*k yourself a**hole.
***Posted for Patty Wysong's Fiction Fridays meme. For more great fiction or to post your own fiction piece, click here: Drama Girls, Giggles & A Prop Named SchnitzelThe drama girls at the church women’s retreat each year were crazy. A talented group of ladies, I must say, but crazy indeed.I watched them on stage two years ago—seven different actresses. They were FUNNY! Then last year, there
"The Joys of Jell-O Gelatin are never ending."That's what a thrifted recipe book-- " The New Joys of Jell-O" assures us. And certainly when you can make anything with it-- from the tantalizing jellied prune whip, to an antipasto salad that uses vinegar, salami and lemon gelatin-- well, you've pretty much got variety up the wazoo.But the recipes weren't the actual reason I bought this book. I mean,
A long anticipated court case was decided today, and the possible ramifications to the province of Alberta are staggering.I first wrote about a self-described so-called ‘Alberta Francophone’ and his lawyer (also Francophone – surprise!) who were attempting to use a $54 traffic ticket – in case you didn’t catch that, I said a $54 traffic ticket – as a vehicle to launch a self-gratifying
Growing up, I was never completely comfortable with who I was or how I looked. I was never particularly popular and making friends was never an easy feat for me.
Something to do with that dreaded ‘foot in mouth’ disease which seemed to plague me from the moment I learned how to speak.
In the beginning, I [...]
We recently returned from a much needed vacation to San Diego, California. My wife and I, along with our two daughters, and my parents, spent seven days enjoying the coast and taking in the good vibes.My two year old daughter is mastering her use of the English language, and her vocabulary is growing daily. We try to help her pronounce the words right, but there's just one phrase I can't bear to c
Sometime in October I got the giggles from reading the label on a bottle of water I found in our hotel room. Though I made no derogatory comments about the product (it tasted fine, after all, kind of like...water), the owner of the bottled water company took the time to leave me a comment on the post.Normally I only direct my mildly amused mockery at myself, but really, I can't help myself this time.Here is what I posted:Hexagons Rock From the label of a bottle of water:"Ed Hardy Structured Water is designed using a proprietary state of the art quantum physics technology. Our structured living water is treated with reverse osmosis for maximum purity as well as infra-red stimulation and electromagnetism to create the best positively charged hexagonally shaped "structrued water" ever. The a
The joy and pleasure of the holidays can easily be tarnished by adding to our overflowing list of the demands and pressures of everyday ordinary life. Here’s three game plans to inject some fun into your holiday shopping and turn your gift giving grumbles into giggles. Enjoy!
More: continued here
Eliana loves a good tea party. And, apparently, no one can throw a tea party quite like... Corban?Well, perhaps the iced-molasses cookies he fetches from the pantry help a little. Or that he insists on pulling her chair out for her and seating her first. Or the way he charms her dollies by seating each and every one in a circle around the tea table. Whatever it is, when the time comes during our school hours for Cor to break so I may work with Micah, Eliana catches his hand and drags him down to her bedroom, shouting "Tea! Tea!" Micah and I smile and return to our work, serenaded by silly songs and giggles from down the hallway while we labor over phonics.On Monday, the usual giggles were absent. In fact, it was very quiet. I had almost made up my mind to head to Eliana's bedroom and check when she rounded the corner and ran past me. Are her legs...lumpy? I followed her to the living room.She danced in front of the cd player, pointing and shouting gibberish. I muffled a l
This has been another one of those weeks where I’ve had a lot on my mind. My daughter is still not feeling 100%, and my mother told me last night that she will have to have surgery on her hip very soon, and, I paid bills today. An activity that always sinks me in a suffocating pit of darkness. So, after a long phone conversation with my mother discussing stages of pre- and post-surgery care, and a time coaxing my 4 year old to go to sleep, I sat down at my computer to find something entertaining. I’ve been spending a lot of free time lately working on building/maintaining my blogs and I needed a break from the “work” aspect and wanted to surf the World Wide Web for laughs. I haven’t laughed too much over the past several years, in fact, I’ve even quit watching sticoms on TV. I just didn’t find them funny anymore. But tonight, I decided to utilize the internet for something different… I needed some good, clean content to
Today was a much anticipated day for me. You see, Comcast was stopping by and installing new cable lines for our front TV, but even more exciting is the boost I just got on my cable internet. Low and behold there are 2 options for home users from Comcast, I now have the faster of the 2. So I went to Frontier’s handy little bandwidth tester to see what my new stats are…
Download: 4636kbps
Upload: 1352kbps
Or roughly
Download: 4.6MBps
Upload: 1.3MBps
bandwidth tester, cable internet, cable lines, comcast, exiting, frontier, home users, low and behold
A new world's record in the high jumpfrom a kneeling positionwas set yesterday at a beachon the coast of Australia.The picture below was taken just a few secondsbefore the jump took place . . .~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Spot the difference.Carla was well into her seventies when she went to her doctor complaining of nausea, exhaustion, and occasional cramps.After a thorough examination the doctor sent her to the hospital for a battery of tests, and finally confronted her with the results."Mrs. Barber, medically impossible though it seems at your age, there's no doubt about it: you're pregnant.""Impossible," she cried, and fainted dead away.When she came to, she staggered to the phone, dialed her eighty-two-year-old husband, and screeched, "You've knocked me up, you randy old goat!"There was a long p
The funky & fab Giggles Bibs were founded by mom Jamie Hunt in 2004. She combined her love of sewing and her need for an easy to clean bib and came up with these great creations.
Giggles Bibs are made of plastic with a food-catching (and drool catching) pocket and a velcro closure. They’re machine washable, can be thrown in the dishwasher or simply wiped clean. She currently has 18 styles and you choose the edging colour. Jaime custom makes the bibs to order and Giggles Bibs are available at 44 locations throughout the United States,Canada, and Australia, as well as online.
Mention TOP & get FREE SHIPPING on your Giggles Bibs when you order from the website.
You’ll find Giggles Bibs in our TOP Shops, where we feature exclusive permanent discounts for TOP readers like you!
We’ve got two great Giggles Bibs (confetti & Japanese goldfish over blue rain) to give away. To be entered in the random draw for one of these great bibs (there will be two winners
As I implied yesterday the Dillon and Milo scenes seemed off for me yesterday and I love Spinelli, Milo and Dillon together. I was disappointed. Today was a lot better.Milo and Dillon were funny. The scenes were just light and fluffy and I loved it. Maybe Spinelli will really get some guy friends besides Jason. (not that this is anything wrong with that relationship)We didn't get much Spinelli (he didn't talk much during the 'negotiations' with Lulu) But it was was still great.This is what Spinelli said to Lulu:You're our mainframe. You Know. Our world wide web. Our internal homepage. Your the sun we are planets just revolving around you.....http://bradfordanderson.net/
Next Witness...My Grandmother!In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his firstwitness to the stand. The witness was a grand motherly, elderly woman.He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've know you sinceyou were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about thembehind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brainsto realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paperpusher. Yes, I know you."The Lawyer was stunned.Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.Jones. do you know the defense attorney?"She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was ayoungster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can'tbuild a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of theworst in the enti
Thought for the day... Stop obsessing so much on keeping score and getting ahead. Focus instead on creating real and lasting value from each moment you are given. ~~~~In a hurry to make an appointment on time, a businessman parked hiscar in a no parking zone, and left the following note under thewindshield wiper:"I've circled the block for 15 minutes without finding a parkingspot. If I don't park here, I'll lose my job. Remember the bible,'Forgive us our trespasses.' "Returning later to his car, he found parking ticket and this noteunder the windshield wiper:"I've been circling this block for 15 years. If I don't give you aticket, I'll lose my job. Remember the bible, 'Lead us not intotemptation."~~~#~~~#~~#~~~#~~#A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the homeowner, "My husband is going to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale." "I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the bargains," the homeowner r
Weird Fact of the Day:Kermit the Frog has 11 points on his collar around his neck.@>`~~~~>,~~~A man went to see the local doctor and complained becausehis wife was having too many little bastards; she was hav-ing at least one per year. He said, "Doc, ya gotta help me,I can't gets enough welfare or steal enough to feeds em all."The doctor got down his medical reference book and lookedup the problem. He told his patient the book said if aman's bitch was having too many brats, he should removethe man's right testicle. He then administered anesthesiawith a beer bottle and took out his pocket knife and per- formed thesurgery.Three years later the man was back at the doctor's office complainingthe surgery had failed; she was still having at least one per year. Thewise doctor took his book back down and studied the problem.The doctor said, "Well, the book says if your wife is hav-ing too many brats to remove your right testicle, we'vedone that. If she still has too many brats, then we sh
Okay. I can't believe I'm actually even admitting this. But, it is just too darned funny to keep to myself. So, picture this . . . I'm having a phone conversation yesterday afternoon with a friend while I was driving to take care of an errand, and it is just digressing into total silliness. Everything we said turned into giggles. After thirty or forty minutes, I had already
I interrupt your regularly scheduled program, Hooper-Isms, to bring you: Six Ways to Make Your Children Laugh!1. Hand them their pajama shirt and say, "Here, put your pants on!" Then when they say, "Mama, this is my shirt, not my pants!" you can hand them their pants and say, "Oh, you're right! Here, put your shirt on!" Guaranteed giggles. Or eye-rolling if you have a teenager, and I would not recommend this exercise for a teenager. Really. Not.2. If you have an island in your kitchen, seat them on the other side of it for their meal, then pretend you are suddenly pulled down behind it, clawing and grabbing your way until you disappear. Then slap one hand on the counter and slowly pull yourself up, gasping and panting until you are "safe". Then do it all over again. Guaranteed hysterics. Even the baby loves this one!3. If you can do impressions, and your children are familiar with Jerry Lewis, say, "Hey, lady!" at the top of your lungs, then poke your lips out and cross your eyes just
