Todd Haley is loud, blunt and often argues with his players. He also is an emerging coaching star as the man who calls the shots for the high-scoring Arizona Cardinals' offense."I'm an emotional guy," the offensive coordinator said after the Cardinals beat Philadelphia for the NFC championship. "I'm not a players' coach. I coach hard. That's the way I was taught."Haley's temper was on full display
Debian developer Josselin Mouette has had his privileges of posting to the announcement mailing list for developers withdrawn, following an offensive post to the list in November. Debian Project Leader Steve McIntyre told iTWire that after Mouette's "abuse of the ability to post to the d-d-a mailing list, I asked our mailing list administrators to remove that privilege for in future." Following th
Sie wollen keine monatliche Grundgebühr, keinen Mindestumsatz oder Paketpreis bezahlen? Und erst recht keine Anschlussgebühr? Dann sind Sie bei eteleon richtig!Alle Angebote die Sie hier finden sind KOMPLETT OHNE MONATLICHE FIXKOSTEN! Die Angebote sind nur gültig solange der Vorrat reicht, also schnell zugreifen! Jetzt eteleon Weihnachts-Offensive: ALLES GESCHENKT sichern! eteleon bietet I
In total, former scout Tom Marino has viewed over four hundred senior players on the season; taking notes and in many cases writing detailed reports, based on his exposure. Today he gives opinion on the player he has deemed the very best college football player he saw during the 2008 season.
Now don't get all jealous, but I am leaving for Sin City early in the wee dawn hours because honestly, rather than sitting around the dining room table with relatives that I can't stand to be around, listening to them all selfishly bitching about the economy or about how gays can't get married, I am being proactive in showing MY thanks this year by heading down to the Strip where I will drink copi
So, as my lovely blog continues to grow in popularity, my Google keyword searches seem to be getting weirder and weirder (and possibly bordering on illegal in many states), and I realized today that some of mankind's most sick, twisted and perverted among us are visiting me regularly. I also realized that you would never confess to being one of them, so that leaves me eyeing each and every one of
You are not going to believe this but I found the cure for the flu! That's right, and I am happy to share it with you as long as you don't tell anyone because I am working on patent for it and if I find out you've sold my special recipe to Ron Popeil or Billy Mays I will have to kick your ass!Deal?Deal.OK.Here is a list of the ingredients:2 DayQuil liquicaps8 oz of freshly squeezed orange juice6
No offense, but this is just not a good day for me. Not only do I have the flu because one of you sick bastards left your cooties all over my blog again, but I am also feeling totally fucking depressed over the fact that my crazy, suicidal Fatwa friends from Iran are no longer allowed to visit non-Islamic websites. Which in case you aren't aware, includes my very own lovely, non-Islamic (and quite
Yep, it's true. I want to be anarchy. Why?? Um, because being an anarchist is quite en vogue these days. It is like the new gay, which is the old black, and you know me, I am always on top of the trends.In fact, I am so fucking trendy that I even have my very own anarchist mentor - whose real name is Dexter but since that name is not bad ass enough, he makes us call him Marky Marx.Believe me, he i
HEY, BILLY MAYS, THIS IS CHELLE B. AND I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT I UNDERSTAND YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT KABOOM, AND ORANGE GLOW, AND MAGIC PUTTY, AND A WHOOOOLE LIST OF OTHER "AMAZING PRODUCTS", BUT I MUST SAY THAT YOU ARE POSSIBLY THE MOST ANNOYING MOTHER FUCKER THAT HAS EVER BEEN ON MY TELEVISION SCREEN. IN FACT, YOU ARE THE REASON WHY I NOW ONLY WATCH YOUTUBES OF RAMMSTEIN, JETS CRASHIN
DEAR ABBY CHELLE B.: I was maid of honor in my cousin "Denise's" wedding. As such, I helped her to get a good deal on her photography. My close friend, "Arthur," had just begun shooting professionally, and photographed the wedding for a greatly reduced price.My problem is that Denise never paid Arthur. It has been several months, and Arthur finally asked me if I would track her down because she ha
While doing research for my last post, I realized that I knew very little about the laws on sodomy here in Idaho and then naturally I thought of you, my #1 fan, and wondered, how well do you really know the sodomy laws where you live? I mean am I going to wake up one morning and find that you've been taken into custody and charged with breaking your local sodomy laws and then thrown into prison wh
So instead of my normal irregularly scheduled "Caption This", todays is more of a "Translate This" because I made, er, found this British public service poster on Google images (not the Hello Kitty one I made!) as I was doing research for an upcoming post about how bad ass the Nazi SS uniforms were, and since I don't speak British, I thought maybe you could help me figure out what the bloody hell
OK, like I told you on the phone, Mr. Obama, I didn't want to drag this into the public arena, especially here on my lovely blog and all, but you've left me no choice. You are either going to deliver the goods or else you owe me $387.59 in reparations for all the money I wasted calling, faxing, emailing and writing actual hand written letters demanding that you indulge my curiosity as an American
I don't know about you, but I really miss the good old days where the rule of law was that if someone pissed you off you could just accuse them of witchcraft and then watch in glee as the townsfolk banned together to form a lynch mob and subjected them to unspeakable acts of torture based solely on your false accusation.I mean, why can't we still do that?!Also, you tell me, why is it that I live s
Caitlin Davis’ life is not so cheery now Caitlin Davis and an unidentified pal appear to be writing on the unconscious prank victim and the words “p3nis,” ‘I’m a J3w’ and a pair of swastikas are clearly visible on his face, neck, arms and torso. The pictures were originally posted on the Web site onblastatlast.com. But yesterday they made the ever-popular Deadspin.com and Caitlin’s f
We all know that every day, there are millions of "Dear Editor, I am offended and my feelings are hurt so I am calling my lawyer who is certified by the ACLU and he will insure I am never offended, ever, ever, EVER again. Wahhhh!!!" types of letters published in various newspapers and magazines across the globe, right?Right.Well, since none of these letters seem to get a proper answer (probably be
**********WARNING - THE FOLLOWING CAPTION THIS PICTURE IS NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED!!! *************Hey, I told you!;)Chelle B.Thank you for subscribing to my offenses! Don't miss all the other funny bloggers over at too!
Soooo, while the rest of you sheep were all racing off to the polls to cast your votes for the creepy old fascist dude and his airheaded, "you betcha!" bimbo, who are in fact bent on global corporate domination and will turn us all into third-worlders working in slave labor call centers, or casting your vote for the black socialistic commie, who by the way, wants to open up Gulags for those of us
I just saw something unbelievably offensive on TV. I was tuning in to CNN to see the beginning of election coverage, and there was a commercial for ashleymadison.com. Apparently this is a personals site for married people, whose motto is "Life is short. Have an affair." If you go to the site, that's exactly what it is - a service dedicated to helping married people cheat on their spouses.The fa
You know, before I tell you all about my new dirty, hippie, commie bastard neighbors, who I haven't officially met yet, I just wanted to set the record straight. Now, just because I happen to live in Idaho, and just because I happen to look like a Nazi's wet dream with my quintessential Aryan appearance, and just because I happen to not be able to help it if the occasional black person passing thr
Keeping Kids Away From Offensive Cartoons - Gone are the days when cartoons meant cute bunnies, ducks and mice. They are replaced by human cartoons that may at times, not only dress offensively but also speak the language of adults. There are many cartoons airing on kid's TV channels which have the characters speaking in a manner that many of us might not want our kids to see. More: continued
So, no offense to all of you non-saints, but it is officially All Saint's Day, aka, MY birthday!! Yep, and since I have been officially canonized into an early sainthood by the Pope himself, it has been decreed that on my birthday I get anything I want.Anything.Anything at all.That I want.Hey, I'm serious!!Oh, don't worry, I don't expect you to get me anything. I mean, I don't even really want any
Well, since tomorrow is my BIRTHDAY (on All Saint's Day, mind you!) I am taking today off from slaving here at The Offended Blogger, and as a special Halloween treat I am bringing to you the first ever guest blog post by an actual undead blogger. I'd like you to meet John, my resident Ouija board spirit. Don't be a sissy, he's cool, and he promised he would write a great Offensive while I am gone.
Dear Abby Chelle B.: Two weeks ago, my middle-aged neighbor, "Ed," brought over a bushel of apples from his tree. He told me he didn't want them to go to waste. I told Ed I didn't want them, but he left them anyway.Reluctantly, I spent my days off peeling, coring and cooking them into apple crisp, pies and jam. I gave away all of the items, and saved one pie to give to Ed.When I took it over to hi
OK, so is it just me or has anyone else noticed that in all of the Brink's Home Security commercials they portray ONLY white guys as the criminal?? What the fuck?? I mean, honestly, it is really starting to fucking offend me because everyone knows that statistically white people are the victims and not the criminals and someone has to not be afraid to speak up about the fact that they are promotin
In elementary schools across America, it is widely accepted that children learn how this country came into existence. They learn that in 1492 Columbus sailed the ocean blue, they learn about the founding of Jamestown, and they learn about how Pilgrims came to Plymouth Rock. The Pilgrims, who came to America to escape the religious [...]
So um, no offense to those of you who are enjoying living out your happy little lives of decadence and sin, and I hate to be the one to have to burst your happy little rainbow filled bubble of denial, but um, "The End" really is coming sooner than you think and well, I'm afraid you are totally running out of time to repent so you better hurry the fuck up before it's too late!!!!!!!Don't look at
You know, I was GOING to write about how I am sick of hearing about the upcoming election and how I think it is such bullshit that if I don't vote for the socialistic black guy I am a racist and if I don't vote for the creepy old fascist dude and his brain dead "you betcha!" bimbo of a running mate I am a ageist and a sexist, but instead I decided to forget all about who my apathetic non vote will
OK, so I am pretty sure that I am over being pissed off at and highly offended by those Inuit bastards who inhabit that godforsaken land of ice and snow which is ironically called Greenland.Oh, sure, I am still bitter, but I refilled my Thorazine prescription so I am not feeling as homicidal about it anymore and I am slowly coming to realize that it can not be that they just don't like me or my lo
„Warum sollten wir etwas verändern, das wird schon wieder“, oder „Wenn das so eine gute Idee wäre, dann hätten das schon längst andere gemacht“. Auf diese beiden Aussagen trifft man sehr häufig in Manageretagen. Erfolg bedeutet aber, ständig an sich und am Produkt zu arbeiten und damit nicht aufzuhören. Auch wenn man gerade Mal [...]
A group of Australian fans, who had come to watch the Mohali Test match, got into trouble with thepolice over some “objectionable things” written on their T-shirts in Mohali in Monday (Oct 20) before they were let off with a warning and told to change their dress.
“Today, we found some Australian fans wearing these T-shirts. [...]
As soon as I got word that Chelle B. had gotten kidnapped, I hatched a rescue plan. Being half-assed and not well thought out I felt pretty confident I would succeed. Her last known location was the Aussie Outback, and no, not the restaurant.So I decided to grab a plane ticket and head over to the land that is down under - aka the globe’s nut sack. I would have to be careful in that harsh land b
Apologies if I have been offensive. There is NOTHING clever in being offensive.
My readership has plummeted.
Must have been removed from Search engines, or some other mechanism.
The most offensive posts I guess have been:
“Is there more to Judaism than organised crime.”
Let me clarify: I do not believe Organised crime is natural to the Jewish people, NOR [...]
According to the Camden Journal online, this piece by Paul Day is described as "a businessman falling, or jumping, from a crowded Underground platform while a Grim Reaper figure drives a train towards him – all reflected in a giant pair of sunglasses.", and was targeted for removal from a local train station due to the fact that it was deemed "too offensive" to train conductors, suicide victim's
No offense, but for the life of me I can not understand why it is that people in positions of authority feel that it is their duty to impose upon us some of the most asinine rules! I am convinced that it gives them a hard on knowing that they wield so much power over us all. For instance, take a look at that sign.Now I know you and you would never think of molesting any of the fauna at Yellowston
Chicago Bears offensive lineman Terrence Metcalf was suspended for 4 games today for violating the NFL's policy on anabolic steroids and related substances.Metcalf will be eligible to rejoin the Bears' active roster on Monday, November 17th, 2008.With a lineup decimated by injuries incurred during last weeks loss against the Atlanta Falcons, this news couldn't have come at a more inopportune time.
Wow. Wow. Wow.Here is the highlight: would also pray, Lord, that your reputation is involved in all that happens between now and November, because there are millions of people around this world praying to their god — whether it's Hindu, Buddha, Allah — that his opponent wins, for a variety of reasons.
And Lord, I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they're going to think
No offense if you are one of my regular readers, but you can just ignore this post completely and skip down to read the other posts which are all about me being held in an Afghani prison camp, and Angry Clown's pus filled boomerang, and how Qelqoth is delusional and THINKS he rules the world (including Greenland, which he doesn't grrr!!!), and other stuff like that, because this one is not writte
You know, its times like these that I'm glad I spent 20 of my 26 years I've been alive as an Afghani prisoner of war. I first saw Chelle B. when my captives brought her in to my cell and I knew at that moment I had to escape and save her from the sexual torture that I enjoyed so much......er.. I mean that I hated so much.Damn keyboard!!After several hours of masturbation (hey, don't judge me, it h
Loyal visitors of The Offended Blogger will undoubtedly be aware that its respective author has recently developed unhealthy inclinations towards the food of God (i.e. the falafel).In recent times, Chelle B. has become attracted to the seemingly innocuous van parked near her home and the inviting aroma of fresh falafels. What she didn't know was this; the van was sent by Islamic militants who thus
Whoo-hooooo, oh yeah, Halloween is coming! Why am I excited?! Um, because MY birthday is the day after Halloween!! Yep, on All Saint's Day. (Stop laughing - I too am a saint, dammit!!!!!!) OK, not really, but that gives you exactly 23 days to shop for my birthday and no offense, but you better get me something good. With fancy wrapping and stuff!! Otherwise you may find out just how Unsaintly I ca
Hey, fellow offenders, guess what?!! Yesterday was a monumental day in the ongoing battle against the easily offended in this great nation of ours!! That's right, the Supreme Court upheld a ruling in Arizona that on the surface may seem inconsequential, but in the bigger scheme of things it is just one small step toward victory for us all and a giant leap for freedom of speech nationwide. Here is
So the other day, I was talking to Ryan Garns (don't tell him but I have a major crush on his blog, RyanGarns.com) and during our conversation we were reminiscing about growing up in the 80's, and how we were both huge fans of shows like Moonlighting and Benny Hill and especially all of the offensive stuff on SNL. Now, I don't know about you, but to this day I can't help but laugh my ass off when
OK, so this is going to probably offend all of you Obama supporting, metrosexual animal lovers who pay ungodly amounts of money dressing your chihuahuas up like Paris Hilton and entering them into "I Have the Gayest Eunuch Dog!" contests, but I will have you know that I am reallllllly depressed after having to shoot one of my favorite pets this week in order to put him out of my misery.That's righ
Nome do Jogo: CALL OF DUTY: UNITED OFFENSIVECategoria: Guerra/ShooterFabricante: ActivisionPlataforma: PC - WindowsTamanho: 1 GbCompare preços de: Call Of Duty: United OffensiveAproveite e veja mais informações deste jogo Aprenda como fazer do seu computador uma máquina de gerar dinheiroDescrição:Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare é o quarto título de uma série reconhecida pelo apelo cinemato
This "Caption This Offensive" is inspired by and dedicated to my good friend (and muse for my next Offensive), Bee from Bee's Musings. Fair warning, the following picture is rather disturbing and not intended for a mature audience:???TOMORROW WE SHALL BEGIN TO DOMINATE THE WORLD AT:Thank you for subscribing to my offenses! Don't miss all the other funny bloggers over at too!
OK, so, as I told you the other day, I am working on putting together my own private Idaho Armageddon militia, and no offense to those of you who used to work in the banking industry and lost your job and are now in the welfare line looking for work right now, but that old saying really is true!Good help IS definitely hard to find.I mean, I sure don't see any of YOU volunteering to be in my milita
No, no I don't.You, of all people, should know that by now!Anyhoo, I was thinking that I really should do another The "Meme That Offends Me" Offensive type of thing, since the last one was rather fun and I am feeling narcissistic enough today to post twice.So, here goes (and I am tagging all of you bastards, so I expect it on my desk by Monday morning!):Ten Offensive Things That I Have Perpetrated
No offense, but I think that yours truly holds the answer to the mystery which has them collectively scratching their little yarmulke covered heads over at JewsVote.org:In presidential elections, when choosing between a more progressive candidate and a more conservative candidate, Jews overwhelmingly choose the more progressive candidate. Between 1924 and 2004, Jews have given their vote to the mo
"This is the end, Beautiful friend, This is the end, My only friend, the end. Of our elaborate plans, the end. Of everything that stands, the end. No safety or surprise, the end...." ~ from "The End" by The DoorsOK, I know what you're thinking, "Chelle B., noooooooooo!!!!!!! Just because you have writer's block doesn't mean you have to give up!".What the hell? Are you f*cking crazy? I never had w
Coming from a traditionally conservative mixed filipino-spanish families, we easily react to a little obscene language or any obnoxious behavior we see. As i always tell myself I'm a little bit different from them, I'm trying to break those genes; I belong to the new generation. Liberation is my way of changing my family's old beliefs and conservativeness, although not everything but just a lit
...I've decided to present to you an assortment of some funny yet offensive cartoons, including one of my very, very, very, very, VERY all time favorites.See if you can guess which one it is. :)Enjoy!!(Thanks to a fellow Humor Blogger, Amy at Amy Oops, I found this next one!)Thank you for subscribing to my offenses! Don't miss all the other funny bloggers over at too!
The Cheek - Cardiff's Free Satire Publication
A quick break from Science. The legendary Gareth Baker appears to have set up a free satirical publication for the residents of Cardiff. Check the website above. It features my horoscopes (See previous blogs) which may become a regular feature. Anyway, for the next issue, I've submitted a satirical piece about racism. It may be offensive, but I don't
OK, I KNOW, I haven't posted an Offensive in... uh, well, actually, I don't know how long because I hardly read my own blog but it must be a while. How do I know this? Well, because I have been getting emails asking when I am going to offend again and thanks to my impatient #1 fans, I was prompted to check my blog and that's when I realized that I have a serious problem!!No, I don't have writer's
In an uncertain market, investors are flocking to so-called defensive plays like McDonalds (NYSE:MCD). Because of this, the fast-food behemoth is one of the few stocks with positive action over the past few days. When investors no longer need safety, however, they are going to flee this stock in droves. Take a short position now and profit when [...]
Hey, I am not sure if I should be offended by this, but apparently, yours truly has a Ned-Beatty-squealing-like-a-pig sort of allure that has attracted the attention of some rebel-flag waving, alligator wrestling, swamp stomping, gun loving members of the Peach State.That's right, a group of 2nd Amendment defending Georgians, who belong to a gun forum (Hooyah!), seem to have their collective sight
Alrighty kids, so I know that The Offended Blogger is officially the place to go when you want to learn how to self torture your testicles, but a recent conversation with an unnamed fellow humor blogger *cough cough HumorSmith cough cough* has prompted me to go in a whole different direction here!Now, believe it or not, he did not believe that men pay to have their balls waxed.I know!!,I mean, it
OK, no offense to those of you who just happen to have been born of the penile persuasion, but what the f*ck is up with you guys not wanting to take your women on a decent vacation??Seriously.I mean, don't you realize that watching the 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit on Location in San Juan on the 60" plasma or trailing behind you while you slowly make your way down every frigging aisle at the Ho
Finally!After all this time, I finally found Jesus!!My good friend Bill from I Animate You is on vacation down in Mazatlan, surrounded by half naked Mexican beauties who spend their days bringing him Pina Coladas and rubbing oil on his back, and he sent me this picture of my beloved taco truck guy - who apparently hasn't been deported by the Idaho Fish and Game and Illegal Immigration department O
Should Self "Defense" Ever Go On The OFFENSIVE ... Or Are You Limited Only To REACTING? was written by Jeffrey S. Anderson from survive-the-street.comSelf defense comes in many different forms. From the Karate Gi to military fatigues or biker boots, self defense styles and philosophies wear many labels and uniforms. And depending upon the form it takes, self defense can be considered an art, a sci
So, um, no offense to those of you who have a revolving reservation at Bellevue, but believe me, I am not crazy like you are! OK, technically, I probably am certifiable, and if I spent five minutes with your overpaid psychiatrist he would probably want to give me the padded cell next to yours, but still.Between you and me, though, I actually questioned my own sanity this morning, because I think I
So while I try to figure out who the Judas, aka offending party, was that turned that jalepeno scented, sticky "incense" dealing, taco truck driving, 99.9% chance-that-he's-the-real-father of my bastard son over to the Idaho Fish and Game and Illegal Immigration Department, I present you with this commemorative "Caption This" to pass the time.It is of Jesus (not MY Jesus, mind you, but the other o
So, ummm, I am really trying not to panic here, but this morning... when I went down to pick up my breakfast.... like I do every morning... instead of seeing the familiar site of my beloved red and white taco truck glistening in the morning dew with smiling school children all lined up in front of it, pooling their pennies and dimes and wrinkled up dollar bills that are supposed to be used for lu
You know, no offense to all of you white people, but while I was out there deep in the forest, armed with little more than my bow and arrows, my trusty can of bear/serial killer deterrent spray, feeling like a bad ass warrior chick, I had what we Natives like to call a vision.Well technically it was after the peyote kicked in that I began to hallucinate, but that counts as a vision in my culture!!
So no offense to all of you sissy bastard boys and girls who live in the city and would rather eat that red dye and hormone injected, steroid infested, doesn't-wash-after-going-#2 undocumented, overpaid, slaughter-house-slave infected grocery store "meat", but by this time tomorrow, I, Chelle B., will be deep in the thick woods of North Eastern Idaho doing this:Well, except I'll have on camo and w
That's right, to celebrate my 214th post here, I have invited Crotchety Old Man to do my very first Guest Offender post.He recently mentioned over on the humor bloggers forum that he has a variety of offensive smilies and emoticons that, (and I quote), "They are pretty offensive, with absolutely no redeeming social values."Well! Where better to showcase them than here, right?!Right.Hooyah!!So I pr
Soooo you know how women all seem overly paranoid and obsessed about the local sex offenders in their area?Yeah, I don't get it either.I mean, what exactly is the problem??Hey, I know when I bought my house, my first priority was finding out whether or not there were going to be enough sex offenders within close proximity to me. Hey, don't give me that look, I'm serious! I mean, it technically is
Soooo the other day as I was minding my own business, casually perusing Google images with my strict filtering disabled, I was not only disappointed to not find what I set out for, but my innocence was completely torn away from me and my psyche was irrevocably damaged as I was introduced, against my will, mind you, to the rather offensive and seedy underworld of clown porn!I know!It was disturbing
The St. Louis Rams have lost two offensive lineman for the season. Mark Setterstrom and tackle Brandon Gorin both suffered preseason injuries that will force them to miss the remainder of the year.QB Marc Bulger also took a hard hit and left the game early with a minor shoulder injury. The Rams have struggled lately with their offensive line, and losing two starters this early in the season does n
First it was the inquisition, then the influenza, and now... this??BEIJING - Pau Gasol has apologized, saying the Spanish basketball team never meant to offend anyone. Point guard Jose Manuel Calderon wrote on his blog that the gesture, fingers pressed against their eyes, was meant as an "affectionate" message for the Chinese people.Lucky for those Spaniards that the Chinese are forgiving, because
Ok, honestly, I love nothing more than to see a couple of men using the talents that God gave them to beat the living shit out of one another.As long as it's for good reason, of course, like fighting for the throne in the White House:Hey, don't look at me like that.It is perfectly normal for me as a woman to like to watch men fight!! I mean, who can't appreciate the art and beauty and skill of so
Well, I don't know what gets you motivated in the morning, but I usually start my day off by yelling at the kids, beating the dog and slamming a few tequila shooters before I check the news to see how many people were offended in the last 24 hours, and hey, believe me, I am never disappointed!Not a day goes by that someone, some where in some way isn't offended.Ugh!In fact, right now, there are of
2008 Beijing Olympics Special Report:Spain's Olympic basketball team recently posed for an advertisement prior to the Games which appears to show all its players slanting their eyes.As an uproar over the picture has grown to epic proportions today. The move to print the ad offended its Olympic hosts in Beijing. The Organization of Chinese-Americans has released multiple statements condemning the p
Just as there is no sound unless someone hears it, there is no offense unless someone takes it. That is to say, taking offense is something the listener, not the transmitter, does.
OK, so no offense, but I really don't have time to be posting an Offensive here, I mean I AM trying to build an awesome new website and everything, remember?!Hey, don't get all offended, dammit! It's not that I don't want to post here, because you know I love nothing more than to offend you, my #1 fan.Wellllll, and between you and me, I also enjoy offending myself once in awhile, too. In fact if I
So if you hang around me in real life, or read my blog for more than five minutes, you know that I have quite an extensive vocabulary of offensive expletives that I enjoy employing every now and then, and my all time favorite, hands down, happens to be "HOLY F*CK!!".I know, it IS special, isn't it!!Hey, and believe me, it comes in handy in a wide variety of circumstances, too!For instance, earlier
Soooo, you know how when you are writing code from scratch for a cool new website you are building for yourself and your fellow humor blogger buddies and you get all stressed out because (a) you ran out of your cocktail of anti-psychotic meds three days ago so the whole time you are trying to learn how to write computer code, you are simultaneously hearing voices and entertaining thoughts about co
Soooo I was invited to a wedding recently and um, no offense, but aren't you a bit put off by engaged couples who run out and sign up for every frigging bridal registry out there after they invite you to their wedding? I mean, really, isn't it a bit rude to presume that I even want to buy them a gift to begin with, let alone something they've already picked out?!Ugh.It really annoys the hell out
???Hey! Your votes are reversing the effects of global warming over at humor-blogs.com - no pressure or anything! :)*** A big THANK YOU to my feed fans for subscribing to my offenses!! ***
Going into training camp every collumn I read by knowledgable, and some semi-stupid, sports writers had the Steelers o-line as the biggest concern for 2008. I pondered on this for a while and when I had half a migraine I decided I’m just not buying it.
The loss af Alan Faneca will impact the run game [...]
So no offense to all of you pansy-ass sissy boys and girls who can't hold your liquor, but I am proud to announce that despite consuming inordinate quantities of the hard stuff while camping out at the rodeo all weekend, I, Chelle B., did not do this:Hooyah!!In fact, I will have you know that I never, not even once, even came close to thinking about hurling all weekend, even after seeing everyone
Yeah so I have decided that Idaho needs a good, old fashioned trapeze sex club! That's right, it just isn't fair that Florida gets all the fun stuff:Group sex is not illegal, and the state failed to show that a Fort Lauderdale swingers' club operated with intent to offend, a Broward judge said Wednesday in dismissing lewdness charges against the club's co-owner, Dennis Freeland.So like I said, I a
Sooo half way through the process of placing myself and my fellow humor bloggers on Dr. Stone's scale of evil, I suddenly realized that my lone act of depraved evil was not entirely my fault and therefore I refuse to show you where I rank on the scale until I have a chance to set the record straight!OK, I know what you're thinking, "Chelle B., you can't fool me! You don't have a spot on the scale
