Owner: FUNNYBYTES URL:http://funnybytes.blogspot.com/ Join Date: Wed, 09 Aug 2006 14:11:35 -0500 Rating:1 Site Description: Welcome to FUNNYBYTES !! your place for jokes,facts,funny pictures,illusions,articles,news,gossips and many more resources...subscribe to our feeds for Daily Updates Site statistics:Click here
Some laws WE never learnt in school or college: 2006-08-18 06:16:00
1) Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated
with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
2) Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to
the least accessible corner.
3) Kovac's Conundrum: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an
engaged one.
4) Cannon's Karmic Law: If you tell the boss you were late for work
because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat
tire.
5) O ' Brien's Variation Law: If you change queues ( TrainTicket
reservation) , the one you have left will start to move faster than
the one you are in now.
6)BELL'S THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone
rings.
7) RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting
someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to
be seen with.
8) WILLOUGHBY'S LAW: When you try to prove to someone that a machine /
system won't work, it will.
9) ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANI
21 Reasons.......Must Read 2006-08-18 06:14:00
21 Reasons
Why best Friends are Better Than Boyfriend/Girlfriend...
1.You don't have to call them every day, just to let them know you're not fighting
2.You don't have an anniversary-you just sort of "became" best friends.
3.When someone calls your girlfriend/boyfriend your "partner" it makes you think of marriage. When they call your best friend our partner, it's more
like cops.
4.You never have to touch your best friend when it's
hot outside, but you
can still huddle close when it's freezing.
5.Your parents usually like your best friend.
6.Your best friend doesn't care if you get fat, you're
ugly, or if you get a ard haircut.
7.You don't have to get jealous of "girls only" night
or "guys only" night -- You're part of it!
8.You can laugh at your best friend with no consequences.
9.You can burp/fart in front of your best friend on
any occasion.
10.You can plan on still having a relationship with
your best
funny Joke!! check Out 2006-08-18 06:10:00 Bill Gates passes away and goes up to heaven where
he is met by God.
"Well, Bill," said God, "I'm really confused on
this one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven
or Hell. After
all, you enormously helped society by putting a
computer in almost every home in the world, and yet
you created that ghastly Windows.
"I'm going to do something I've never done before.
Im going to let you decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, "Well thanks, God. What's the
difference between the two?"
God said, "You take a peek at both places briefly if
it will help you
decide. Shall we look at Hell first?"
"Sure" said Bill, "Let's go!"
Bill was amazed! He saw a clean, white sandy beach
with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful
men and women
running around, playing in the water, laughing and
frolicking about. The sun was shining and the
temperature was perfect.
"This is great!" said Bill. "If this is Hell, I can't
wait to see heaven."
God replied, "Let's go!" and so off th
Example of Will Power 2006-08-18 06:07:00 An old man lived alone in village. He wanted to spade his potato
garden,but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped
him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned
his situation:
Dear Son,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant
my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden,because
your
mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be
digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be
over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.
Love,
Dad
Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad,
don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"
At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen intelligence agents and local
police
officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any
guns.
Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what
happened, and asked him what to do next.
His son's Read more:Example
A, B, C ...of life 2006-08-18 06:01:00
Life is ADVENTURE dare it.
Life is BEAUTY worship it.
Life is CHALLENGE meet it.
Life is DREAM realize it.
Life is ENDURANCE copewith it.
Life is FRAGRANCE smell it.
Life is GAME play it.
Life is HEAVEN take it.
Life is INITIATIVE take it.
Life is JOURNEY complete it.
Life is KEROSINE burn it.
Life is LOVE enjoy it.
Life is MYSTERY unfold it.
Life is NAME find it.
Life is OPPORTUNITY catch it.
Life is PROMISE fulfil it.
Life is QUSETION answer it.
Life is REALITY face it.
Life is SONG sing it.
Life is TIME utilize it.
Life is URAGE satisfy it.
Life is VOICE listen it.
Life is WEALTH acquire it.
Life is X ? solve it.
Life is YEARNING go after it.
Life is ZENITH attain it.
simple Vs Complex 2006-08-18 05:53:00
MEN R SO SIMPLE
If you kiss him, you are appreiciated
If you don't, then he is equally pleased
If you praise him, he will accept it as a compliment
If you don't, then also you are admired
If you agree to all his likes, he thinks it is a perfect match
If you don't, he will respect your likes and dislikes
If you visit him often, he will be overwhelmed
If you don't, he will understand you have other priorities
If you are well dressed, he will admire you
If you don't, you are equally beautiful for him
If you are jealous, he knows you love him a lot
If you don't, he still knows you love him a lot
If you attempt a romance, Your feelings are understood
If you don't, still you are liked and admired
If you are a minute late, he will thank u that u came.
If you are early, he will be grateful for it
If you visit another man, he understands that it is job related
If you are visited by another woman, he understands you should
have some time to yourself
If you kiss him once in a while, he i Read more:Complex
2006-08-17 20:43:00 Indian Quiz
Next time you get asked an annoying Indian question, answer it like
this...read on, it's funny!
Q. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery
skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In
fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see,
once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target....
Q. You're from India, aren't you? I have read so much about the
country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers,
the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?
[note: This one we were actually asked in August '93 by a real
estate agent when house-hunting in Boston.]
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in
our house. But later, we started elephant-pooling with our neighbors,
to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....
Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government
Making A pLane 2007-01-10 20:41:00 .hov:hover {font:bold 12px Verdana;color:black; background:#3DE3FF} .hov {font:bold 12px Verdana;color:black} Making a planeSorry, your browser doesn't support the embedding of multimedia.MORE FUNNY, EXTREME AND STUPID VIDEOS AT FUNNYBYTES.NET
Loyalty Of Employees ( Salaried ) 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Bank Balance
First Week : 10000
Second Week : 1000
Third Week : 100
Fourth week : 10
Conveyance
First Week : Auto "I can afford it"
Second Week : Share Auto "I would like to share. I am selfless!"
Third Week : Bus "Public figures should travel by public transport"
Fourth week : Walk "Good for health "
Girl friends
First Week : Eena, Meena, Tina "I can BUY love"
Second Week : Meena, Tina "I have enough girl friends"
Third Week : Tina "I am loyal to her"
Fourth week : "Huh! There is no pure love on earth!"
Mobile Maintenance
First Week : Frequent outgoing calls "This is what mobile is invented for"
Second Week : Restricted o! Utgoing calls "I should not create unnecessary traffic on mobile lines"
Third Week : Rare outgoing calls "Mobile should be used in urgent
Situations only"
Fourth week : Only incoming calls "I am not going to call her until she calls me "
And last....but not the least...
Boozing
First Week : "Come, let's go to Taj and freak out!"
Second Week : "Man, there is n Read more:Loyalty
Find out what men Are 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Men are like ....Placemats.
They only show up when there's food on the table.
Men are like .....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Men are like .....Bike helmets .
Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly.
Men are like .....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.
Men are like .....Copiers .
You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.
Men are like .....Lava lamps.
Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Men are like .....Bank accounts .
Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
Men are like .....High heels.
They're easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
Men are like .....Curling irons.
They're always hot, and they're always in your hair.
Men are like .....Mini skirts.
If you're not careful, they'll creep up your legs.
Men are like .....Handguns .
Keep one around long enough, and you're going to want to shoot it.
~~~cOntradicting quOtes~~~ 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Actions speak louder than words./The pen is mightier than the sword.
Look before you leap./ He who hesitates is lost.
Many hands make light work. (or) Two heads are better than one. / Too
many cooks spoil the broth.
A silent man is a wise one. / A man without words is a man without
thoughts.
Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. / Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
Clothes make the man. / Don't judge a book by its cover. (or) All that
glitters is not gold.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. / Better safe than sorry.
The bigger, the better. / The best things come in small packages.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. / Out of sight, out of mind.
What will be, will be. / Life is what you make it.
Cross your bridges when you come to them. / Forewarned is forearmed.
What's good for the goose is good for the gander. / One man's meat is
another man's poison.
With age comes wisdom. / Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings come
all wise sayings.
The more, the merrier./ Two's
Think Positive!! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Think Positive
!!
This is nice - finding positive out of every negative - which we don't
always manage to do.
I am thankful...
1. For the husband who snores all night, because he is at home asleep
with me and not with someone else.
2. For my teenage daughter who is complaining about doing dishes,
because that means she is at home & not on the streets.
3. For the taxes that I pay because it means that I am employed.
4. For the mess to clean after a party because it means that I have
been surrounded by friends.
5. For the clothes that fit a little too snug because it means I have
enough to eat.
6. For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the
sunshine.
7. For a floor that needs mopping, and windows that need cleaning
because it means I have a home.
8. For all the complaining I hear about the government because it
means that we have freedom of speech.
9. For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot
because it means
Greatest INDIAN Quotes 1970-01-01 00:59:59 "A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are hooked first."
"Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous."
"The biggest guru-mantra is: Never share your secrets with anybody. It will destroy you."
"There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth."
"Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions - Why am I doing it, What the results might be and Will I be successful. Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions, go ahead."
"As soon as the fear approaches near, attack and destroy it."
"The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman."
"Once you start a working on something, don't be afraid of failure and don't abandon it. People who work sincerely are the happiest."
"The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a perso Read more:Greatest
, Quotes
You did IT !! 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Not Every Tree can Stand Thirst
But the Cactus Did it.
Not Every Animal can Represent a Nation
But the Lion Did it.
Not Every Flower Can Represent Love
But Roses Did it.
Not Every Monkey Can Read Blogs
But You Did it !!!!!
HAIR TIPS FOR WOMAN 1970-01-01 00:59:59
Regular Care Of Hair: Taking care of hair is in fact much the same as taking care of skin. An effective hair care discipline involves cleansing, toning and conditioning routines carried out with religious regularity. 1.Care Of Oily Hair And Scalp Condition:
The principle of care for oily hair and scalp condition is the same as used for oily skin condition. The routine aims at removing the excess oil and to exfoliate skin cells which clogs up and suffocate the hair follicles in our scalp. The emphasis is laid on cleansing and toning routines. Since the hair has to be washed as frequently as it gets dirty and oily, a natural shampoo on a formulation of herbs such as amla, shikakai, trijla is ideal. Massaging hair and scalp is important for the well being as well as good growth of the hair. For dry hair, scalp massaging with oil is recommended. For oily hair massaging with toning lotion is suitable.
Home-made Cosmetics For Oily Hair:
A.Take some dry soap nuts(ree
What your Birth month means 1970-01-01 00:59:59 JANUARY
* Ambitious and serious
* Loves to teach and be taught
* Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses
* Likes to criticize
* Hardworking and productive
* Smart, neat and organized
* Sensitive and has deep thoughts
* Knows how to make others happy
* Quiet unless excited or tensed
* Rather reserved
* Highly attentive
* Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds
* Romantic but has difficulties expressing love
* Loves children
* Homely person
* Loyal
* Needs to improve social abilities
* Easily jealous
FEBRUARY
* Abstract thoughts
* Loves reality and abstract
* Intelligent and clever
* Changing personality
* Temperamental
* Quiet, shy and humble
* Low self esteem
* Honest and loyal
* Determined to reach goals
* Loves freedom
* Rebellious when restricted
* Loves aggressiveness
* Too sensitive and easily hurt
* Showing anger easily
* Dislike unnecessary things
* Loves making friends but rarely shows it
* Daring and stubborn
* Ambitious
*Realizing dreams and hopes
* Sharp
* Loves
Funny Message 1970-01-01 00:59:59 They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
love;
after marriage it is self-defense
***************************************
***************************************
***************************************
its difficult 2 understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women..and then he turns them into Wives !?!!!?!
***************************************
***************************************
***************************************
It takes thousand workers 2 build a castle
Million soldiers 2 protect a country
BUT Just ONE woman 2 make a Happy HOME!
Let's Thank ......
***************************************
***************************************
***************************************
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a
positive side!
***************************************
***************************************
***************************************
It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It' Read more:Funny
, Message
Four Agreements will keep u happy 1970-01-01 00:59:59 Agreement 1
Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Agreement 2
Don't take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Agreement 3
Don't make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Agreement 4
Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self
Nature's own fireworks 1970-01-01 00:59:59
Northern lights is a result of our atmosphere shielding against solar particles which would otherwise make our planet uninhabitable
The strong, green light originates at altitudes of 120 to 180 kilometres. Red northern lights occur at even higher altitudes, while blue and violet occur mostly below 120 kilometres. When the sun is "stormy", red colour occur at altitudes between 90 to 100 kilometres. Entirely red northern lights are sometimes seen, particularly at lower latitudes, and are often mistaken for a fire on the horizon.
Courtesy :http://www.northern-lights.no/
Recommend Site To A Friend
