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SPAM Prevention 101: If you can read or eat this, you are obviously drunk
2009-01-18 00:45:28
Whether it’s consciously eating a can o’ SPAM or trying to decipher the hieroglyphics posing as electronic-spam prevention codes, you have to be drunk to successfully complete either task. Rarely do I enter the correct anti-spam code on the first time. Whether the letters or letter-number combos are blurred, Siamese letters that share the same backbone, [...]
Read more: obviously

Chasing the American Dream: Winning a “Late Show with David Letterman” T-Shirt (part 1)
2009-01-15 17:10:01
Ever since the gap-toothed, late-night comedic wonder David Letterman made his television debut in 1982, I’ve always fantasized about being a guest on his “Late Show.” By guest, I mean an actual guest and not a Stupid Human and/or Pet Trick performer. Twenty-six years have passed and no such luck. As Letterman ages and the window [...]
Read more: Chasing , American , Dream , Winning , Shirt , American Dream

Keep your hands off my drugs, Big Brother
2009-01-14 09:33:21
This year, despite the fact I’m not even remotely religious, I’ve decided to give up Responsibility for Lent. Why not? When in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights, might as well do as what Jesus would do, eh? Why responsibility, you ask? For starters, responsible people, ever since the beginning of time, have always been getting [...]
Read more: Brother , Big Brother

Prologue: ‘Say Something Funny’ or Die
2009-01-12 14:43:12
In the global world of comedy, “Say something funny” is the ultimate Weapon of Mass Destruction (WMD), claiming more lives and quick-witted tongues than the WMDs stored on temporary U.S. military bases scattered across the sands of Iraq. On the list of top Say Somethings, “Say something funny” holds the second spot, wedged between the frontrunner [...]
Read more: Prologue , Funny

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